Tuesday, June 20, 2017

An update on coping

Thought I would just do an update on how I am going since this post. Nothing has changed on the job front which is hard, but I am keeping on praying and I know God has the right job out there for me. I have been chatting to lots of people and using their skills to help me. I recently reformatted my resume after talking to some people at church who gave me some advice and I am really happy with it and feel that it's so much more professional now.
I am currently walking the fine line of wanting to apply for any job possible but also realising that I have to be picky. I am applying for a much broader range of jobs, not just admin and customer service. If a job is part time, in a supportive environment and I have the skills I apply for it. I applied for a job last week that looks promising so I am praying that that leads to an interview. My employment agency has also been putting my name forward for a few jobs that also look promising, so praying that they lead somewhere too.  I have no idea when I will get a job but I am trying to do everything that I can to land a job soon.
I do feel as though I am coping better, but I do have my moments, I also find I have these moments filled with anxiety for no apparent reason which are challenging and I never know how long they will last for. I am trying to get more in a routine with my sleep and along with regular exercise I am hoping these anxiety moments decrease.
I am realising that I am just in a time of my life where I need to take it one day at time and if I have days where I'm not coping then that's fine, things will eventually get better even if only God knows when that will be.

Friday, June 9, 2017

Five Friday Favourites

I have decided that every second week is always crazy for me and it was this week for sure! Sunday and Monday I reformatted my resume on the advice of some friends, while it took me a while I am hoping the improvements will be worth it and I will hopefully get some interviews soon.
Wednesday I had a long overdue optometrist appointment and then proceeded to spend $200 on a new pair of glasses. I hadn't had a new pair since I was 14 and my prescription had changed majorly (as you would expect) so I figured I had better get a pair that I really loved and would actually want to wear (I got these). I wanted something a bit different than what I had previously had and these just made me feel myself. I tried on a heap of different pairs but kept coming back to the first pair I tried on. Apparently I have trouble focusing my vision plus the stigmatism I have always had (which means I will always wear glasses to some degree) means I will be looking at wearing glasses 60%-80% of the time depending on what I have going on during the day.
The rest of the week has been just as busy, with employment agency meetings, baby sitting and running errands, I would much rather have a busy week than a quiet one though!

Moving on to Five Friday Favourites:

Sadie Robertson - Be You - Scripture Cards (here's the link for an Australian seller)- On Tuesday I made the drive to Koorong, the only Christian bookstore around. I maybe go 3 times a year if that as it's out of my way and a decent distance to drive for just a bookstore, also its a dangerous place for my bank account! I walked in there with a list and left with a few additionial purchases (all good I had money set aside from doing a few odd jobs so the damage wasn't too bad) these cards were one of them. If you recall at Christmas time I got given a Sadie Robertson calender which I love and it makes me smile whenever I see it and when I saw these cards I knew I had to get them. They are great quality and its such a cool idea how you attatch them to the stand with the gem magnet. I also couldn't resist getting 2 packs of these (photo here) to put on gifts and give to people.

Fairy Bread Cheesecake - I had a bible study dinner on Wednesday night and I brought dessert (which is no surprise if you know me), I wasn't sure what to take but when I came across a recipe for Fairy Bread Cheesecake in the latest copy of Super Food Ideas magazine I knew I was onto a winner. It looked and tasted amazing plus I have no doubt you could leave out the sprinkles for a plain baked cheesecake or mix in some melted chocolate for a chocolate cheesecake. I swirled through some melted white chocolate just before baking which added a nice element to it. Then with the remaining chocolate spread it on some baking paper and sprinkled on some sprinkles before leaving it to set and breaking into shards which I put on top.

Sweetbriar Cottage by Denise Hunter book review - if you are after a book to read that's perfect to curl up in front of the heater then this is it. I loved this book and highly recommend it to anyone who is after a good read. Check out my review for more details and info.

NIV Pocket Floral Notebook Bible - I've never been a fan of huge bibles, they are just hard to carry round, heavy and I find them hard to handle (don't get me wrong I own a large bible but I rarely use it) and when my Grandma got me my first backpack bible for my birthday many years ago I haven't looked back. Recently the time had come for a new bible and I wanted the replacement to be a similar size, I had seen this bible a while ago and I loved it so when the time to retire the bible that my Grandma had given me (the Soul Surfer backpack bible) I knew this would be the one. It's small but the font isn't too small, had a ribbon bookmark, back pocket (I am always storing bits of paper in my bible!) and it doesn't look like a bible. While I am sad to retire my current bible I am happy to start a new journey with this one.

Rainbow Brolly by Smiggle - with Winter upon us, it means we will soon some get some rainy days which I love but I also seem to get stuck in rain showers so I always make sure to have an umbrella with me. I love the colours of this one and think it adds a pop colour on an otherwise grey day. It's small and compact so it can fit in your handbag for those moments you get stuck in showers and you need to run from the car to shops, race into work or fill up your car with fuel (the other week I got drenched filling up my car as the shelter at the petrol station was useless). Plus Smiggle umbrellas really hold up well, I have one that is 4 years old and still going strong. I can't wait to use this umbrella this Winter.

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Book review: Sweetbriar Cottage

I have a list of Christian authors that I will read every book they publish without question Denise Hunter is one of those authors and I find her books are really good reads. She tends to write series but her latest book, Sweetbriar Cottage is a standalone novel and it's an amazing read.

The description reads:
When Noah and Josephine Mitchell discover their divorce was never actually finalized, their lives are turned upside down.
Following his divorce, Noah gave up his dream job, settling at a remote horse ranch in the Blue Ridge Mountains of northern Georgia, putting much-needed distance between himself and the former love of his life. But then Noah gets a letter from the IRS claiming he and Josephine are still married. When he confronts Josephine for the first time in months, they discover that she missed the final step in filing the paperwork and they are, in fact, still married.
Josephine is no happier about the news than Noah. Maybe the failed marriage—and okay, the botched divorce—was her fault, but her heart was shattered right alongside his, more than he would ever believe. The sooner they put this marriage behind them, the better for both of their sakes.
But when Josephine delivers the final paperwork to his ranch, the two become stranded in his cottage during the worst spring snowstorm in a decade. Being trapped with Josephine is a test of Noah’s endurance. He wrestles with resentment and an unmistakable pull to his wife—still beautiful, still brave, and still more intriguing than any woman he’s ever known.
As they find themselves confronted with each other and their shared past, old wounds surface and tempers flare. But when they are forced out into the storm, they must rely on each other in a way they never have before. Josephine finally opens up about her tragic past, and Noah realizes she’s never been loved unconditionally by anyone—including him. Will Noah accept the challenge to pursue Josephine’s heart? And can she finally find the courage to trust Noah?

I really enjoyed this book and loved how it jumped between the past and present, it really gave the story some added depth. It was also good how it jumped between Josephine's view and Noah's view so you could see the story from all angles instead of one sided.

I liked Josephine from the moment I met her in the book but it was clear that she felt she didn't deserve to be loved. It was great seeing her develop and realise that her past didn't affect her future or her happiness.
Noah took me a while to warm up to and it was clear that he had isolated himself from people and distanced himself from the ones he has loved since the divorce and that the last thing he wants is to be stuck with his ex-wife. You get to see varying sides of him throughout the story and just how much he doesn't want to let go of Josephine despite what he has convinced himself to think.

This book isn't a typical love story like I am used to reading, but a story about forgiveness and healing. It's about how you can think people will judge you because of your past but sometimes once they know the full story you will not only receive forgiveness but also healing. At times I wasn't sure where the story was going but everything worked out in the end as should happen in all good stories.

Denise knows how to write a story, I finished this book in 2 days and was on the edge of my seat for most of it. I loved every minute of reading it and it was everything and more I hoped it would be.

If you are after a good read that will stay with you long after you've read it, I highly recommend Sweetbriar Cottage.

Sweetbriar Cottage is out June 13th from all leading book stores

Monday, May 29, 2017

Book Review: When It's Real

I was recently given the opportunity to review When It's Real by Erin Watt. I'm not going to lie this
book is a bit predictable but its still a fun read.

The description reads:
From #1 New York Times bestselling author duo Erin Watt comes the addictive contemporary tale of a teen rock star in need of an image makeover and the teen girl hired to be his fake girlfriend.
Meet Oakley Ford-teen celebrity, renowned pop star, child of famous movie stars, hottie with millions of fangirls… and restless troublemaker. On the surface he has it all, but with his home life disintegrating, his music well suddenly running dry, and the tabloids having a field day over his outrageous exploits, Oakley’s team decides it’s time for an intervention. The result: an image overhaul, complete with a fake girlfriend meant to show the world he’s settled down.
Enter seventeen-year-old Vaughn Bennett-devoted sister, part-time waitress, the definition of “normal.” Under ordinary circumstances she’d never have taken this gig, but with her family strapped for cash, she doesn’t have much of a choice. And for the money Oakley’s team is paying her, she figures she can put up with outlandish Hollywood parties and a team of publicists watching her every move. So what if she thinks Oakley’s a shallow, self-centered jerk? It’s not like they’re going to fall for each other in real life…right?

There are some books that you read because you want to think or want something more intense (looking at crime fiction here) and other books that you read because you want something fun and mindless, this book falls in the latter. Which means it perfect to take on a holiday because while it's a page turner it's light and fluffly and there's no intense parts.
I really enjoyed reading it and found the charcters really well presented. Oakley is a rather complex character and each time I thought I knew who he was there was another element to him. Vaughn is trying to find her place in the world and is a creature of habit. Together these two characters help balance eachother out and its great to see their personalities start to change (for the better) because of their interactions.
The story was good and fast paced, a lot was packed in but there were no major plotholes. I will say I knew where the plot was going from the moment I read the description but all in all it was a fun book and I have no major complaints.

When It's Real comes out on the 31st of May and is available where all good books are sold.

Friday, May 26, 2017

Five Friday Favourites

Yesterday I did a post about not coping and a huge thanks to those who have reached out with their prayers and support. I just got sick of hiding that I'm not coping and realised that in order to be honest with myself I need to be honest with everyone else. I know we go through seasons of hardship but it just feels like mine are going on forever and I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I guess all I can really do is keep praying and take it one day at a time until things get better.
I have recently signed up to the website NetGalley that lets you request books for review so if you start to see a few book reviews around here that is why. I will say that all my reviews will be 100% honest and my hope is that you guys get to discover a new author or two and I will push myself out of my reading comfort zone at the same time.

Moving onto Friday Favourites which are a bit random but that's just how my life is at the moment so it matches.

Adam Sandler movies - I've been needing a laugh lately and nothing makes me laugh harder than an Adam Sandler movie. I know some people hate on him but his films really make me laugh and are a great distraction. I really like Grown Ups, Grown Ups 2 (it just gets funnier every time I watch it), Blended  (Terry Crews singing really makes the film) and Just Go With It. I think everyone has those movies that they watch when they are down and these are mine.

All Things New by Lauren Miller - This book is getting released in August and its a great read! I've struggled with finding a books with a character that has anxiety, it seems like the other mental illnesses are easier to represent in writing. Yet Lauren Miller manages to create a character that has anxiety in an accurate light and shows the inner workings that someone with anxiety may go through. I managed to relate to Jessa or more her thought process easily and was thrilled that someone could create a character that not only has anxiety but shows it accurately.

The blurb reads:
Seventeen-year-old Jessa Gray has always felt broken inside, but she’s gotten very good at hiding it. No one at school knows about the panic attacks, the therapy that didn't help, the meds that haven’t worked. But when a severe accident leaves her with a brain injury and noticeable scars, Jessa’s efforts to convince the world that she’s okay finally crumble—now she looks as shattered as she feels. Fleeing from her old life in Los Angeles, Jessa moves to Colorado to live with her dad, but things go from bad to worse when she realizes she’s seeing bruises and scars on the people around her that no one else can see. She blames it on the accident, but as her body heals and the hallucinations continue, Jessa wonders if what she’s seeing could somehow have a deeper meaning. In her quest for answers, she falls for Marshall, a boy whose kindness and generous heart slowly draw Jessa out of her walled-off shell and into the broken, beautiful, real world—a place where souls get hurt just as badly as bodies, and we all need each other to heal.
ALL THINGS NEW is a love story about perception and truth, physical and emotional pain, and the messy, complicated people we are behind the masks we put on for the world.

I really enjoyed it and found that there was a lot more to this book than meets the surface. It was a fun read but was intense in some places, I never quite knew where the story was going and that was a plesant surprise.
The main characters were great and the way they were shown means that you could easily compare Jessa's thought processes to them and see just how anxiety affects people. If you come across this book I highly recommend that you read it.

Planet Shoes Town Boot - I hate getting my feet wet in winter so I mainly live in boots during the cooler months and I normally just buy a cheap pair because by the end of the season they are dead (as in I am gluing them together!) but this season I decided to treat myself to leather pair of boots. My Mum is a huge fan of Planet Shoes and these just so happened to be the first and only pair I tried on. They are super comfy and I love the height of the heel (not too high but it gives me a boost), they look and feel solid so I have high hopes for them this season. I have already worn them a few times and as the weather cools down I expect to be wearing them a lot more frequently. (I got them in black but I can only find stone on the website).

SpyFall 2 - if you know you will know that I love playing board games, a great Saturday night for me is me playing boardgames with friends and we love to try new games. I recently discovered SpyFall 2 and we all love playing it. It involves a lot of talking and asking questions and is quick paced game too. You can play with up to 12 players which means it is ideal for a big group. The aim of the game is that everyone gets 1 card with either a spy (there can be up 2 spys per round) or location you have to ask eachother questions to work who the spys are and the spys have to workout where the location is. The first rounds can be a bit challenging but once you get the concept its really fun.

Nutella Chocolate Chip Cookie recipe - I made these last week and I am still dreaming about them! This recipe is super easy and really yummy to make, the result is chewy chocolatey cookie that you can't just have one of. I increased the yum factor by chopping up a block of hazelnut chocolate which also meant the nuts added some crunch factor. In my books Bakerella can do no wrong so if you are after something to bake this weekend these are it.


Thursday, May 25, 2017

Not Coping

Recently things have been a bit of a struggle for me, it seems like over a year of unemployment has caught up to me and I am finally breaking. For so long I have put up this mask, where I appear fine and act like being unemployed isn't crushing me but it seems as if the mask is refusing to stay put. I find myself loosing it day to day and would do anything for an escape. I now don't have good days or bad days instead I just have bad days with a few good moments mixed it. For so long I have been pushing away the tears and feeling as though they are sign of weakness but lately all I can do is let them fall.
I walked into my psychologists office on Tuesday and some of the first words out of my mouth were 'I'm not coping, I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this for.' because that is how I feel at the moment. It seems like everyone is getting a job except me, I'm not even getting job interviews at the moment! Of course my psych (have I told you how amazing she is?) pointed out that for anyone I am coping really well (even those without anxiety or a mental illness) and for the past year I have been coping at such a high level that now I have dipped despite still coping well it doesn't feel like it compared to the level I was on. I am allowed to feel this way and it's honestly expected after more than a year of unemployment.
I have tried so many times to write this post and it's been really hard but in order to be honest with myself I needed to write it down. So at the moment life isn't going well and I'm not coping, I am praying it will change but for now I am taking it one day at a time and trying to stay focused on the bigger picture.

Friday, May 12, 2017

Five Friday Favourites and a General Update

I apologise in advance is this seems a bit of a repeat of last fortnights Friday Favourites but its not!

Has anyone been watching Saving Hope? I am loving this season so much and will be sad when it ends, I have probably cried in every other episode so far but its been great how they have really gone deeper with the storylines. I always like it when series' get to end on a high note rather than get cancelled as I feel like you get to say a proper goodbye to the characters plus there's never any cliff hangers. I never in a million years thought that I would like Saving Hope as much as I do but there is nothing better than sitting down and watching the latest episode while trying to hold it together.

This past week has been a bit busier than normal due to appointments and catching up with friends. I saw my psychologist on Monday and it was just what I needed, she had been on maternity leave since September last year so it was great to see her and get her views on a few things. I go back to see her Tuesday week then I will go back to every 3 weeks which I find works really well for me.
On Wednesday I got stabbed yet again by my doctor when he removed a cyst. Thankfully the procedure went well and I just get to endure 2 weeks with stitches. So I am trying to take it easy and keeping on top of the pain killers for the next few days. I will say my doctor knows what he's doing and even does a more complicated stitch to reduce the risk of scaring (I scar easily) so I am thankful for that.
The job hunt side of things is still quiet and it's so annoying! I had my fortnightly employment agency meeting today and left with tears in my eyes just because I feel like I am getting no where. I know its mainly due to how bad the job market is but it would be nice to have some sort of progress. Last week I did apply to a somewhat promising job so I am praying I at least get an interview and have asked (begged!) my employment agency to ring up them on Monday to find out what is happening with my job application (it closed on Wednesday). I just feel so lost during this whole process and I have been on the verge of giving up a lot more recently. I know God has a plan for me but its really hard to see it at the moment!

We've finally had some rain, which means Winter is on its way! I splurged (by splurged I mean I had a $50 voucher and if it weren't for that I would never had been able to buy these) on some new boots this week and can't wait to wear them.

Kiss and Cry - I watched this the day it came out and I LOVED it. Sarah Fisher does a beautiful job portraying her last best friend and the chemistry between her and Luke Bilyk was flawless. I laughed and cried in it. I felt so inspired by it and found it was a great movie and a real legacy to Carley's work. You could that the movie had a lot of thought put in it and that Sarah was giving the performance her all. Nothing was half heartedly done and there was added touches of using some of Carley's words she had written on  her blog (if you get the chance do read it, it will add another element to the story and give you an insight to just how much Carley went through). I highly recommend that you watch it and know that when you do, you're helping Carley further her legacy.

Threads of Suspicion by Dee Henderson - I LOVE Dee Henderson's books so much and despite not being a huge fan of mystery novels I can't seem to put hers down. Her latest book did not disappoint and while it did take me longer to get through it than normal (due to how intense it was) I loved every word of it. The blurb reads (taken from Amazon):
Evie Blackwell's reputation as a top investigator for the Illinois State Police has landed her an appointment to the governor's new Missing Persons Task Force. This elite investigative team is launched with plenty of public fanfare. The governor has made this initiative a high priority, so they will have to produce results--and quickly.
Evie and her new partner, David Marshal, are assigned to a pair of unrelated cases in suburban Chicago, and while both involve persons now missing for several years, the cases couldn't be more different. While Evie opens old wounds in a close-knit neighborhood to find a missing college student, David searches for a private investigator working for a high-powered client.
With a deep conviction that "justice for all" truly matters, Evie and David are unrelenting in their search for the truth. But Evie must also find answers to the questions that lie just beneath the surface in her personal life.

Bed Bath N' Table heat packs- I am always cold at night in Winter so a heat pack (or packs at times!) are a must for me (along with a cute ginger cat who does not know the meaning of personal space!) and last year I had to replace mine. I wanted something cute and couldn't resist this fox, when I first got Rikki I thought he looked like a little fox with his big eyes and white chest (he still does at times) so it seemed perfect (plus being orange means it won't get lost in my sheets during the really restless nights). The quality is great and the size is perfect to keep me warm at night, I find it really does hold onto the heat too. I was stuck at what to get Mum for Mothers Day when I saw this cute cat pack and know she will love it (I also love the bear and the owl packs). If you are after a gift or just want a pack to keep you warm I highly recommend these.

Elastoplast Sensitive Strips (and dressings) - I am allergic to latex and the one time its a problem is with band aids so for someone who is clumsy this isn't ideal. Thankfully I have discovered Elastoplast Sensitive Strips which cause no reaction and means I can leave them on for extended periods of time without a reaction. I also love their dressings for wounds (or stitches as the case may be at the moment!) as it means I can cut the perfect length for the area (I used this on my back when it was healing last year). I always make sure to have a stash with me and find that they stay on better than the normal ones.

Disney Descendents 2 trailer and music video - I loved the first film and the second film looks to be just as good :) so to end this weeks Friday Favourites on a high note here is the trailer and music video from the film: