Monday, May 23, 2016

Just an update.

Time for another update on my life post! Life is going by slowly and honestly I am struggling a lot recently because I feel that I am not moving forward just staying in the same spot!
  • Unemployment - nothing has changed in that area, there are very few jobs that I can apply for and the ones I do apply I never hear back from. I do have yet another employment agency consultant but I feel connected with her and she is so nice. She has also thought of a few things that I haven't covered with any other consultants so she knows what she is doing! I am just giving it to God and waiting and praying.
  • No laptop - this is challenging and I am counting down the days until I get it back! What's made it worth it is that so many of my friends have been sponsoring me and I am $48 shy of my target so if you haven't already please donate - you can do so by clicking here.  I get my laptop back next Wednesday so I am super excited and plan to spend at least 2 days locked up catching up on all the TV shows I have been missing. A friend asked me if I had been keeping a list of shows I need to catch up on and want to watch once I get my laptop back and I have but not obsessively and just a mental list. I do know that it will take me at least a couple of days of watching to catch up with everything but I am not real hurry to do so especially as some of the shows have been cancelled so if I can draw those out for as long as possible I will be happy.
  • ReachOut - I am still trying to do as much as I can with ReachOut and last Monday even got to give them a shoutout on the radio! I was listening in to the local radio station and they asked what would give up for a month of wifi and I texted in saying that I was actually giving up my laptop (and therefore access to wifi to a degree) for a month and thought nothing of it. I then receive a phone call a couple of hours later asking if I would be ok talking about it and my reasons as to why I don't have a laptop. So for a few minutes I got to talk about my reasons for not having a laptop and explain why ReachOut is important to me. I am also doing another 5km walk for them in July you can donate to that here. My overall aim is to raise a total of $350 for ReachOut this year so that's $250 giving up my laptop and $100 doing the 5km walk though I am planning on doing a competion again.
I just feel like I am in a waiting stage of my life (again!) and know that it will eventually pass, yet I can't see the end of the tunnel and its discouraging. I know God is in control and that there is a reason for this its just hard to see at the moment. But for now I will get keep waiting and praying as I have been doing for the past few months.

Wednesday, May 11, 2016


I'm not a fan of change, I need routine to function and need to know what is going on at all times for me being spontanious isn't a thing. For example I go to the same petrol station on the same day at the same time every week which some might call it crazy but for me I like knowing that on that day I w
ill fill up my car and it will be cheaper than any other day of the week.
Don't get me wrong change is good and if things didn't change we would all be stuck in the same situations but it doesn't make it any easier to accept. I am currently in a transition period looking for work (again!) and just trying to figure out what I want to do with my life long term and whats needed to get to that place. Its extremely annoying especially when there are no jobs to apply for and the ones that you do apply for you hear nothing back from (excuse me while I go scream into a pillow then hug my cat and eat a block of chocolate to cope)! Or if you do hear back from them its just a short generic email saying that you weren't suitable for the job with no other explanation (which is to be expected if they have so many applicants but it just makes me worse than what I already am feeling).
There is no doubt about it that my anxiety is linked into this need to have a routine. Having a routine and knowing what is going on at all times helps me manage it. When I was younger I hated anything out of the ordinary that was happening and would dig myself into this hole thinking about the various events. School excursions even if they were fun I would get anxious over, sports and swimming carnivals I hated (mind you I think being bad at sport due to Dyspraxia didn't help) and don't even get me started on school camps! Now that I am an adult and I have some control over what is going on in my life it helps and I can plan my days depending on how I am feeling and what else is happening in my life. Of course that only works 50% of the time as God always has other plans and I feel like so much of my time is spent waiting and praying.
Change is hard and no one should deny that it isn't but it can also be amazing like when a caterpillar changes into a butterfly or the garden comes alive after a good rain storm. I guess to put it simply I am just struggling with the changes that are happening around me at the moment and look forward to when I come alive again after a good storm.

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

A year of being a ReachOut Youth Ambassador

I can't believe its been one year since I took a huge leap and became a Youth Ambassador for ReachOut! Its crazy to think how time has flown and what I have acheived:
  • Did a 5km run/walk for ReachOut and raised just over $250 by doing it - posts related to it here and here
  • Did a movie night which meant I organised it completely by myself and got sponsors yes it didn't get a good amount of numbers but the organisation side of things went smoothly. Plus it taught myself that I could do something to that big a scale! - posts related to it here 
  • Did a couple of stalls and presentations here and there including one at my sister's youth group and most recently a stall at the youth week markets - posts related to that here
  • Did various blog posts highlighting what ReachOut does including NextStep. - posts relating to what ReachOut does here and here
  • I am currently Upping My Game for the month of May which means NO laptop and I am seriously struggling so please sponsor me 
I love ReachOut so much and its honestly been the best experience, I can't wait to see where being a youth ambassador will take me next!
Feel free to check out this post which I wrote the day after the weekend workshop I am so thankful I took a chance and became a youth ambassador. If you ever get the opportunity to become one take it you will not regret it!

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Upping my game for the month of May

For the month of May ReachOut is encouraging everyone to Up Your Game to raise awareness of
suicide to do this you can either Step Up - do something you would normally never do or Give Up - give up something for the whole month. When I got the email in my inbox encouraging me to sign up I knew I wanted to do it but I had no idea what I would do. There were a few ideas but none really clicked, my Mum suggested I give up sugar to which I asked her if she wanted to suffer for the whole month. It was only at Bible Study when someone suggested I give up my laptop (and offered to sponsor me if I did) that I knew I had found something!
I mainly use my laptop for Netflix and watching shows so for me to give it up would be challenging but I figure I can survive it. I will have access to the family computer but that means working around the family and no Netflix.

FAQs surrounding me giving up my laptop:

Why just your laptop why not screens completely? Because I need to survive! I also need to apply for jobs, keep in touch with people and keep up with the world. I will admit that I may have a binge watching addiction so this is a way to curb that while also allowing myself some freedom.

Won't you able to watch Netflix on your phone and ipod? No because as of Saturday night I am deleting both apps off of my phone and ipod. I am also planning on using minimal youtube for the month of May as well.

How much are you hoping to raise? Initially it was $500 but I have since decreased that to $250 as I am hoping to do another 5km walk for ReachOut in July and don't want people to feel preassured to donate to both.

How do you plan survive the month of May? By reading lots of books, I also have quite a few DVDs that I want to catch up on including Heros, Bones, Friday Night Lights and the first season of my beloved Greek plus I wouldn't mind rewatching the first 2 seasons of Brooklyn Nine Nine.

Where can we support you? Here you can also sign up to Up Your Game as well. Every bit counts and you know that it will be going to support ReachOut. I only do crazy things like this for organisations I am passionate and love about so you know I must love ReachOut!

Now if you excuse me I have some binge watching to do before May starts!

Friday, April 22, 2016

Sick of Waiting

Its been very quiet on the job front this past week and my mood has pretty much stayed the same as it was in this post. There has also been NO jobs to apply for which hasn't helped me feel like I am going anywhere. To make things worse I am blocked on my employment agencies books due to Centrelink but according to Centrelink I am still with them yet they are the only ones who can unblock me. I am also unable to report online until my employment agency marks me as not working part time but they can't as I am blocked on their system. I am so confused and have pretty much told my employment agency to sort it out because I am getting nowhere with Centrelink and have no idea what is going on.
It's tough because if I knew I would get work in a couple of weeks I would just stop the payments I am getting and live off of my savings but at this stage this isn't looking likely.
I honestly just wish the end was in sight because I am over not working and over looking for jobs to apply for (I am pretty sure finding a needle in a haystack would be easier!). I did apply for a job a couple of weeks ago and that closed on Monday and I have another week and a bit to see if  I will hear from them but I am loosing hope there. If you could please pray that I get an interview for this job that would be amazing as for now I am grasping at any threads of hope and it would be great if I did land this interview (and potientally the job).
I KNOW God has a plan for me and one day I will get a great job but I am sick of waiting and waiting. I guess who I can do is just keep praying and know that God knows what he is doing even though at the moment I have no clue what that is!

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Hitting the point

I hit have that point, the point when I am over being unemployed, the point when I begin to wonder if it would be worthwhile to use my life savings and just run, the point where I overthink every little thing, the point where I begin to think that I have made a big mistake.
I have hit this point sooner than I expected and its crept up on me, one day I was fine the next I was stress eating and wanting to scream. I know I should just trust God and know that this is all part of his plan but I am having trouble seeing it.
I have been baking like crazy because when I bake I feel useful and that feeling is what I need. Plus its cheaper than shopping which I really can't afford at the moment.
There are very few jobs to apply for recently which isn't helping me survive this.
I have looked at the numbers and the bigger picture and I know in order to survive both financially and mentally I will need to work around 20 hours a week preferably full days so I have at least 2 days to breathe. I want to help people and ReachOut is that outlet for me, I want to start up my studies again and I want to be able to do it while working without burning out.
At the end of the day I will survive hitting the point though I may come out with some bruises I will survive it and I know God will help me through it.

Monday, April 11, 2016

How to set up a basic stall without loosing your mind

This past weekend I did a stall for ReachOut, setting up a stall is no small task so I thought I would put together a brief guide on how to set up a basic stall.

Put together a stall kit. This helps keeps everything in one place and when you do have a stall you can just grab it and go. I bought a large plastic container from Target and keep everything to do with ReachOut in that box. I also have a smaller box in that box that contains basics for presentations.

What you will have in that box will vary depending on the type of stall you do but this is in mine:
  • Plastic tablecloths - if they get damaged it won't matter and you can get them for around $2 from discount stores.
  • Sticky stuff - this includes bluetack, sticky dots and sticky tape you never know what you will need to stick down something so its good to be prepared. I need to stick posters down and it all varies where I have the stall and the surfaces I have available. I also have some washi tape in different colours in case I need to brighten things up.
  • Small whiteboard and markers - I grabbed one from Kmart and its been invaluable. I have used it to write down facts about ReachOut and other things. Mine is also magnetic so it means that I can use it as another surface area if need be.
  • Pencil case with the basics - including scissors, pens, pencils, permanent markers etc  another thing to include is some plain paper and card
  • ReachOut Merchandise - I have lots of stickers, brochures, post it notes etc all with ReachOut's logo on them which I give out at stalls. I also find having them with my stall kit means that I know exactly where they are and am able to keep stock of what I have and what I need.
Not included in my kit are two light boxes which I bought to use at events (not just stalls but partys and when I need to add some personalisation quickly), I find they add height and look great. I grabbed one from Kmart and another from Typo and when they aren't in use I display them in my room.
I also have lollies that I keep in the box to give out at stalls but these aren't essiental I just find it helps attract people to the stall because everyone needs a sugar hit (bonus you can eat them during the quiet times!). I buy lollies at discount stores (like the Reject Shop and Red Dot) because it won't break the bank (at the end of the day they are free so no one can complain).

When setting up the stall I find its good to stick to a theme, for ReachOut I stick to blue as thats their colour so I just make sure that the bulk of the stuff I use is blue. It also makes the stall stand out as everything is one colour and it draws peoples eyes to it. It also means that the stall won't look busy despite if you have different elements to it. When you walked in to where I held the stall you could spot ReachOut very quickly due to how blue it was which was my aim.

I kept the stall pretty symetrical as it was easy to set up that way and it still looked good once people took some of the merch from it.
I had two buckets (the buckets are actually popcorn buckers which I found at Kmart) of lollies on either side next to the lightboxes. The bucket on the right isn't filled all the way with lollies its only half full, I stuck some (blue) tissue paper scrunched up in the bottom of it before filling it with lollies so while it looks like I have a lot I really don't. You can use the same trick in glass jars using a clear glass tipped upside down in the middle of the jar and surrounding it with lollies.

In the above picture you can see some mints that I printed out and stuck lables to with nice things and labled them encourage'mints' this was a random idea that I had as I had so many mints leftover from the movie night. These were extremely popular so many people commented on them, I still have a heap leftover so they will be used for another stall or event at a later time. I think its fun to add your own ideas when doing a stall and try to think outside the box as it shows your personality and can make great talking points.

I love being a Youth Ambassador for ReachOut and its always fun doing stalls for them, I never consider doing ReachOut work work because I always have so much fun doing the events and the prep leading up the events. I also never put any preassure on myself when it comes to doing ReachOut stuff for me doing stalls is just another way to tell people about mental illness and how it affects so many people.

There is no right or wrong way to do a stall as long as you have fun doing it and you can walk away feeling proud of what you have accomplished.