Staying Focused

Its the start of a new year a start of new beginnings yet so far it hasn't been. The year ended on a low when my little cat Chickpea got killed when a car hit her and it hasn't really picked up. I was the person in church (a few Sundays ago) when the person leading the service said I hope you are all having a good year whispered (loudly) so far this year has sucked. Life hasn't improved much and though to be honest I have had highs and lows the highs have been great but the lows have been some of the worst I have experienced. The job search front is non existant and every day I pray that I will get a call offering me an interview, my elderly Grandma has taken to lecturing me on everything job related which isn't helping much either. I long to find an escape and at the moment I have taken to reading like there is no tomorrow (again) on average I finish one book a day (or over 24 hours from when I started it).

I know I will get a job in God's timing but I am finding it hard to stay focused. Sometimes I feel like my life is pixelated and only God is standing far enough away to see the full picture and to me none of the pixels make sense and even though I know there is a bigger picture its hard to make sense that the pixels form the picture from a distance.