Thursday, February 25, 2016

Feeling Lost

I am feeling very lost at the moment to say the least! I received my last pay check yesterday and then did the totally expected freakout wondering what the hell am I doing with my life. I have been told that maybe I should study a certificate in youth work and look at going into that area. I have looked at various jobs online and all scare me to some degree and I wondering if I am really cut out for the jobs. I feel like my experience and qualifications are so focused around administration that any jobs I do apply for that are completely different people will look at my resume and wonder why I am applying for that job instead of admin work. I have no idea what I should be doing let alone starting to look for and I want to run for the hills at the thought of starting over again.
I just want a job to come out and hit me in the face, I want someone to tell me what I should be doing and whether I should do something completely different. I love being a youth ambassador for ReachOut so if I could do something similar as a job that would be great, I am also a great baker and so many people tell me I should get a job in that area, I just want something that I can handle and grow in. If it means working in a supermarket then so be it. I guess at this stage I can't really look to the long term only the short term.
For now my plan is to pray on it and repeat until something happens. God has always been in control of my life and this time is no different, for now its just a matter of waiting to see where he leads me.

Friday, February 12, 2016

The final stage

Today is my final day at work and I thought I was handling it all fine until I had an urge to bake a cake and ate 4 timtams all before 9.00am! I guess I am unsure how I should be feeling, I mean I prayed for this for years and now I am walking away from it all because I can't handle it. This past week has been filled with various appointments and trying to figure out what my next step should be and nothing is very clear at this stage!
I also have very little to do at work as I no one wants me to start anything that I won't be able to finish before I leave so the 5 hours I am there drags on and on and by the end of it I am relieved to leave.
I went to see my doctor and psychologist this past week and both confirmed what I already knew that this job wasn't for me and it would've ended badly if I had stuck it out for much longer so that is some comfort.
Next week I am taking an unofficial break because I am feeling burnt out and know I need a week to gather my thoughts and pray regarding my next step. Monday I have an appointment with my employment agency first up then I am going to spend my morning in a café by the river and read my bible and pray. Tuesday is quiet and unknown at this stage. Wednesday the day is unknown but at night I am going see the film How To Be Single with a friend and have a girls night. Thursday is again unknown and on Friday its my youngest sisters ball and I will need to run her around to hair appointments and whatnot. At some stage I will ring up a list of possible care agencies and see if they have any casual positions but again I am giving it to God. I know he gave me this job for a reason even if it was just so I could pay my car off and know that Customer Service isn't for me. I am ready to take chances and try to find my place in this world while also knowing that God has a plan for me and he knows what he is doing.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

ReachOut NextStep

Getting help can be hard, really hard and its hard to know what kind of help you may need during the tough times. Thankfully ReachOut has made a solution called (drumroll please!) NextStep! It's super easy to use, you just click on all the things you are feeling/experiencing and it will come up with a list of providers and resources available to you. What's so good about it, is that its so simple that you can use it while in a crisis and you're not able to focus 100%. To show you how easy it is I have put together a guide!

First things first go to ReachOut.com, this will be the page that will appear, for those who have visited ReachOut before you will notice that the yellow bar is new and click open tool in sidebar.

This will lead you to this. There are loads of options 111 if you are being exact which is a lot, but you can get a shorter list up if you click on 'skip to shorter list' (its easy to feel overwhelmed about all the options). The reason why its such a big list is that it covers (close to) everything any young adult could be going through.

Select the ones you are going through/feeling, you can pick as many or as little as you like. For this tutorial I selected 'I feel anxious alot' because I have anxiety and feeling anxious is a big part of my life. The aim is to help you get as accurate help as possible so don't feel like you have to stick to 1 or 2  select as many as possible that relate to your situation.

I clearly only choose one so this page popped up but depending on what you click this page may or may not appear. Sometimes if its serious an Emergency Help screen may pop up which advises you to immeadiatly call one of the numbers listed to talk to someone.

I then had to help narrow down my feelings by filling out the information below including my state where I live, I was also given the option to narrow it down further if desired.

Finally after going through all the questions this is what it recommended for me.

As you can see the process couldn't be more easier and it gives good advice and resources to help you with what you are going through. The last you need to be doing when you are in a crisis to be over thinking things and NextStep takes it away by providing a wide range of options. It's well worth checking out!

*I am a Youth Ambassador for ReachOut but I was in now way forced to create the above guide I just loved NextStep so much that I had to share it with everyone.

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

The next stage

This is happening, on Friday I officially leave my job and I have mixed emotions about it all. I know I am doing what's right for me but apart of me is wondering whether is ok to throw away 6 months.
A while ago I listened to a sermon online and in it the preacher was saying that God doesn't care about how many 'likes' you have on Facebook or followers on Instagram or what you do as long as you are serving him and that message has been on my mind lately. In this society so much is weighed on your job and what you do but at the end of the day it shouldn't matter. I have survived being unemployed for 2 years and I will survive it again if need be. But if I am being honest I am ready to try new things and explore all my options, I want to take chances and risks (something that is so unlike me!) and enjoy finding my place in the world. I have said this many times and it honestly couldn't be much truer I am ready for God to lead me into this Journey and see what doors he opens. I am ready to face my fears and see what my next step will be, I am ready to show people how God has worked through me and how I find strength in him.
Because God knew this would happen and he has been preparing me for this stage in my life and I am 100% trusting in guide me.

Monday, February 1, 2016

Where God takes me next

Because eventually I am going to get over answering the following questions I thought I would put them here so maybe this will clear up some confusion among people as to why I am resigning from my job:
Why? Because having anxiety (and Dyspraxia) sucks! I went to work stressed, came home stressed and nothing was helping reduce it, things did partially help but in the end I had to admit that the job was doing it for me. I didn't like who I had become and realised that in order to avoid a breakdown leaving the job would be best. I also felt like I was drowning and when my probation got extended I knew it was time to realise that maybe this wasn't job for me.
I thought this was your dream job? Dreams change and honestly I liked the idea of the job more than the job and I am happy I realised this now rather than later.
What are you going to do now? Sit at home and binge watch TV shows - not really haha! At this stage I have no idea, continue with my studies, maybe find some casual work or look for something in date entry? Get back into ReachOut because I love doing that and I am craving doing it. Pray a bit and read my Bible and see where God leads me. I am open to anything and at this stage its just a matter of waiting and seeing what God has in stall for me.

I really wanted this job but at the end of the day I realised that just because I wanted it didn't mean that God wanted it for me and I am learning to be ok with that. I also realised just how stressed I was when I kicked my car on Saturday night (the day after I resigned) because I needed an outlet for my stress and anxiety regarding this job. I have grown in the past 6 months and I am thankful to have been given this opportunity and at the end of next week I will walk out of the office happy that I have given it my best shot and ready for wherever God takes me next.